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At ReliableDivorce.com, our goal is to provide you with all the information you need to complete your divorce on your own. We have been helping people just like you complete their divorces since 1993, and we remain committed to making sure each customer is treated like they are our only customer.
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Helping people with divorce
matters since 1993. |
Unfortunately, people considering divorce either fail to take any action, or make the wrong decision, because they have misconceptions about divorce. Don't let this happen to you!
When making a divorce decision, there are some things that you should
consider. Our goal at ReliableDivorce is to assist you as much as
possible. You will see our level of commitment when you become a
ReliableDivorce customer. Divorce is really too important to leave
to just anyone. Make sure you choose the right company to assist
you. ReliableDivorce is backed by a 100% money back guarantee, and
is a member of the BBB (Better Business Bureau) in good standing.
The things to consider when deciding about divorce varies somewhat from
person to person, but here is a list of the most common items to
contemplate:
1.
Don't let a judge decide for you.
The minute you (or your spouse) go to court and ask a judge to decide
your divorce for you, you give up nearly all of the control you have
over the process. If you want to keep your money instead of giving it to
a lawyer, and if you want to maintain control over your life, DO NOT
LITIGATE. Go to court only as a last resort, only if all else fails. Try
negotiation, try mediation, try collaborative divorce, try settlement
conferences but do not litigate. You may win at trial, but at what cost?
Will you be able to dance with your former spouse at your child's
wedding? Probably not. Litigation is destructive, expensive and gut
wrenching. Litigate only if you have no other option. Litigation is,
unfortunately, necessary in some cases. There will always be people that
just can not agree no matter how hard you try. Reserve litigation for
the most desperate situations.
2. Do
a cost-benefit analysis.
In divorce, it is easy to get caught up in the emotion and make all of
your decisions from that vantage point. This can be a mistake though;
spending some time analyzing your case from a logical, cost-benefit
perspective can pay dividends. Keep your eye on the ball and stay
focused on getting the divorce finished so you can move on with your
life. It is not uncommon for divorcing people to do things like spend
$500 to get a $100 microwave oven. Don't do it. If you can't see a clear
connection between your actions and achieving a final resolution of your
case, then don't take that action.
3.
Know and identify your priorities.
Frequently people going through a divorce find that their priorities
change throughout the process. The things that they thought were most
important when they began the process are not necessarily the same
things that are most important at the conclusion. It is important that
you review your priorities regularly, with your lawyer or on your own,
so that you are always mindful of things that matter to you most.
Staying on top of your own priorities allows you to keep your lawyer
informed and better use the divorce process to obtain the results that
your care most passionately about.
4.
Remain Flexible.
One of the most common mistakes people make when they begin a divorce is
to decide that they absolutely, positively must have A, B, and C, and
nothing else will be sufficient. Remaining flexible in the divorce
process allows you to critically and impartially analyze all of the
issues as they arise. This is especially true for people who have
reviewed their priorities throughout the process (see # 3 above).
Knowing what you want, and being flexible in your approach to getting
it, can often mean the difference between success and frustration.
5.
Educate yourself.
Knowledge can be your greatest ally. Research the divorce laws of your
state, whether through a local law library or the internet.
ReliableDivorce.com has researched the laws in your State, and has the
divorce forms that your State uses. This makes the process easier
for you, because the court clerk and the Judges are familiar with the
documents, and can more easily process your divorce.
6.
Divorce Online Service - Why Should We Lose Money and Time Applying For
Divorce?
Attempts to use the worldwide Web as an effective means of struggle
against bureaucracy are undertaken constantly. Today it is possible to
fill in a tax declaration, apply for bankruptcy or to receive a legal
consultation. And there are sites offering online divorce services.
It is very important that you use a service that guarantees that you
will be divorced, and only used the most up-to-date, State-specific
forms.
It is usually easier to marry than to divorce, especially if the spouses
who wish to do so must divide their common property as well.
Divorce is extremely difficult business in rich families. For wealthy
Americans in this case, it is accepted that the former husband or wife
may pay rather large sums of money for the divorce process. It is not
enough that the divorce in itself involves strong emotional stress, so
they also pay an extra thousand on top of the $10-20,000 to lawyers to
carry out this occupation, and sometimes it is even more.
Why should we lose the money and time applying for divorce, if there is
the cheap and fast alternative - divorce online. You find the site, take
your mouse, you press on the button - and you are a divorced person.
With a minimum of formalities, as in Las Vegas, for the conclusion of a
failed marriage appears the divorce.
To terminate a marriage, you can utilize ReliableDivorce.com and get
your divorce completed for only $249, plus the courts filing fee.
People who hate discussing and relaying specific instances in dialogues
with lawyers use the services of ReliableDivorce.com. In the virtual
world of divorce, the couple that does not require court, after
inputting all necessary data for divorce, merely prints the forms, signs
them, and sends them to the judge. That is all.
The high cost of lawyers has not forced people to refuse divorce. The
deep reasons for divorce lie in the emotional - sensual sphere.
ReliableDivorce.com is here to help you with your divorce, and help you
get your divorce completed quickly, and without the high cost of an
attorney.
7.
Learn how to make an agreement with your spouse.
Here are ten specific things you can do to help yourself. These steps
will help you deal with the obstacles so you can get down to
negotiation. Use it as a checklist to make sure you've built a good
foundation for your negotiations. If you run into trouble later, come
back and double-check these steps.
a.
Make some "New Life" resolutions:
Start thinking of yourself as a whole and separate person. You may feel
wounded, but you are healing and becoming whole and complete. Keep that
picture in mind. Pain and confusion are part of healing.
Let go of old attachments, old dreams, old patterns that don't work;
this is your chance to build new ones. Decide you will not be a victim
of your spouse or the system or yourself. You will not try to change or
control your spouse--that's all over now, it doesn't work, it's contrary
to the meaning of divorce.
Concentrate on yourself, especially on your own actions. You can do
something about what your spouse does by changing what you do.
Concentrate on your physical health, your work, children, friends. Try
to become quiet and calm. Keep your life as simple as possible.
b. Insulate and protect your children:
Involving children will surely harm them and upset both parents as well.
Keep them well away from the divorce. Tell them the truth in simple
terms they can understand, but don't discuss the divorce or your
problems in front of them. Don't involve the children or pass messages
through them. Don't let them hear you argue or hear you criticize their
other parent.
Let your children know you both love them and will always be their
mother and father, no matter what happens between you.
c. Get safe, stable and secure, just for a while.
Your first and most important job is to do whatever you must to arrange
short-term safety, stability, and security for yourself, the children,
and your spouse--in that order.
This doesn't mean forever, just for a month or a few months at a time.
Don't be concerned yet about the long-term or the final outcome, and
we're talking about minimum conditions here, not your old standard of
living.
Don't even try to do anything else until minimum conditions are met.
You can't negotiate if you don't know where you will live, how you will
eat, if you are afraid for your safety, or if you think your house is
about to be foreclosed or your car repossessed.
d. Agree on temporary arrangements:
If you can work out your own temporary arrangements, you won't need an
attorney to get temporary court orders.
Start by agreeing that you want a fair result and that you will both act
fairly. Agree to communicate before doing anything that will affect the
other spouse or the estate or the children. The goal here is to avoid
surprises and upset, especially including things like closing accounts
or starting legal actions.
It takes a long time for things to settle down and for the spouses to
work out a final agreement. Meanwhile, you have to arrange for the
support of two households on the same old income, the parenting of minor
children, making payments on mortgages and debts, and so on.
It will work better if your temporary arrangements are put in writing.
If you have trouble working this out, use techniques and resources
discussed below.
e. Slow down, take some time:
If you can make your situation safe and stable for a while, you don't
have to be in a hurry.
Think of divorce as an illness or an accident; it really is a kind of
injury, and it takes time to heal. You have to go slow and easy, be good
to yourself. Some very important work goes on during this slowdown.
f. Get information and advice:
First, organize your facts, records and documents.
You'll want lists of assets, deeds, statements, account numbers, income
and expense information, tax returns and wage stubs. Get information
from your records and from your accountant, from recent tax returns, and
from your spouse.
Spouses should have a full and open exchange of information: it helps to
build trust and confidence, and, in many states, it's the law, so you
might as well just go ahead and do it. If information is not exchanged
freely outside of the legal system, you will probably end up in court
with attorneys doing very expensive discovery work.
Next, learn the rules for divorce in your state as they apply to your
case. You especially want to know how predictable the outcome would be
if your facts were taken before a judge.
Be very careful where you get advice. Your friends and relatives will be
a fountain of free advice, but don't take it--the price is too high if
they're wrong. They mean well, but probably don't know what they're
talking about. Use your friends for emotional support, but take advice
only from an attorney who specializes in divorce. Don't take advice from
paralegals or people who run typing services; they're not trained for
it.
g. Focus on needs and interests;
don't take positions yet: A position is a stand on a final outcome: "I
want the house sold and the children every weekend."
In the beginning, there's too much upset and too little information to
decide what you want for an outcome. Taking a position is bad
negotiating--it's an invitation to an argument: the other side either
agrees or they disagrees and you're in an argument rather than a
discussion.
It's better to think and talk in terms of needs and interests. These are
your basic concerns: "I need to know I'll have enough to live on. I want
a good relationship with my children. I want an end to argument and
upset."
When put this way, these are subjects that you and your spouse can
discuss together.
h. Stick with short-term solutions:
Concentrate on short-term solutions to immediate problems like keeping
two separate households afloat for a few months; keeping mortgages paid
and cars from being repossessed; keeping children protected, secure,
stable, in contact with both parents. These are things you can try to
work on together.
i. Minimize legal activity:
You want to avoid any legal activity unless it is necessary--zero is
best, or the minimum required to protect yourself or get your case
started.
Ideally, you will avoid retaining an attorney and you won't give your
spouse any reason to retain an attorney.
j. Get help if you need it:
Consider counseling for yourself or your children. For help with talking
to your spouse, consider couple counseling or go see a mediator.
Mediators and counselors are low-conflict professionals who can help
with emotional issues, defusing upset or, in the case of the mediator,
with making agreements for your temporary arrangements.
If you follow these steps, you'll be well on the way to working out your
agreement.
8.
Protect your assets.
One of these steps is to take possession of certain assets during
separation, especially those assets you wish to be using, such as
furniture and vehicles, and those assets that might be liquidated by
your spouse, including precious gems and stones, other collectibles,
cash, and bearer bonds.
Other protective measures you might consider in your divorce planning
include: (1) protecting your own credit rating by freezing or closing
joint cards and by blocking your spouse's access to other joint credit
such as a home equity loan; (2) closing joint bank accounts and opening
accounts in your own, individual name; (3) changing the name of the
responsible party on utility and other bills; and (4) spending where
possible your spouse's separate property first, marital property next,
and your own separate property last.
9.
Remember that in many cases, you can modify your divorce decree in the
future.
In the future, if your divorce decree is no longer fair to you, you can
ask the court to modify your decree. The reality is that most courts
will modify a divorce decree if the party can show that the
circumstances of changed-such as a loss of income, a disability, or a
remarriage by the party receiving support.
10.
Prepare yourself for a happy life after divorce.
Life after divorce item 1:
Think about your emotional stability...if you wanted the divorce or not,
you must fact it head on.
Divorce is tough and whether you're going through it or your are already
past it, your emotional stability is of vital importance because you
might tend to be somewhat touchy after going through an emotional
ordeal. Keep in mind that your life after divorce can be great but you
must admit that you will go through (or have gone through) a trying time
in your life. Admitting this and facing your situation head on is
important to your emotional stability and critical to you having a happy
life after divorce.
Life after divorce item 2:
Look at the bright side, having life after divorce could be a new start
for you.
How may times in your life do you wish you could have just started over
knowing what you know now? If you answered "many", don't worry, that's a
common thought most of us have. Having a positive mental attitude about
your new beginning will make a huge difference in how happy your life
will be after divorce. Life after divorce can be fantastic and it can
also be very tough if you don't remain positive about a what's in front
of you. Look at the glass as being "half full" and realize that, in
order to be happy after divorce, you must take advantage of the
opportunity to get a fresh start!
Life after divorce item 3:
Surround yourself with people you like in your free time.
Too often times people start new relationships with just about anyone
because they are lonely while getting a divorce or after getting a
divorce. Sparking a relationship, romantic or friendly, with anyone and
everyone who will spend time with you can contribute to unhappiness in
your life after divorce. Stop and think about the people that you spend
time with and ask yourself, "Once my emotional turmoil has ended, would
I really want to keep the relationship going with this person?". Life
after divorce is tough...so, when you're deciding about divorce, going
through one, or already have been through a divorce, make sure that you
carefully choose who to spend your free time with or you may fall into
more negativity in your life after divorce.
Life after divorce item 4:
Make it a point to spend time doing things that you like to do every
week.
Make sure that you spend time enjoying your life after divorce - don't
forget to 'stop and smell the roses'. Some people vent, work, go into
hiding, or just plain go haywire after getting a divorce and their
subsequent life after divorce isn't as healthy as possible. At least
once a week, take the time to go and do something that you really enjoy
doing...it will help you deal with your life after divorce in a more
pleasing manner.
Life after divorce item 5:
Set specific goals and implement a plan to achieve those goals.
Life after divorce is a tumultuous time, your life can seemingly be 'in
the balance'. In order to make sure that you feel good about yourself
and enjoy the feeling that accomplishment brings, think about a goal or
set of goals that you've always had but never attained. Then, prioritize
those goals and devise a plan to obtain them, one by one. Implement each
plan and be happy (in fact celebrate) once you've reached your goal.
Your life after divorce will be markedly better and healthier if you
take this concept to heart and follow it.
Visualizing your life after divorce (and thinking about what your life
might be like after divorce) is a sound and logical thing to do in order
to be happy after divorce. Your life after divorce does not need to be a
continuation of the pain you might have gone through or are currently
going through.
Life after divorce can be extremely liberating if you act based on logic
plus positive emotions rather than negativity. If divorce is eminent or
you've already been through divorce, take the time to actually plan your
life after divorce.
ReliableDivorce is ready to assist you in your divorce, from the time
you fill out the questionnaire, until your divorce decree is handed to
you by the court. When you really research your options, the
answer is simple...ReliableDivorce.
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